True Confidence
Confidence. A word we are all familiar with and some of us may struggle with. Google defines confidence as: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities. I’m sure I speak for most of us when I say that confidence is not always the natural response when we think about ourselves and what we bring to the table. The truth is, confidence is really hard. And I think it’s really hard because of who the world makes us believe we are supposed to be. But what if, instead of listening to what the world has to say about confidence, beauty, belonging, worthiness, and identity, we choose to listen and believe ONLY what God says about us. Then, confidence becomes less about trying and striving and more about resting and receiving.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Read that again. HIS WORKS ARE WONDERFUL. And he made YOU! Take a moment and think about that. Let it soak in and receive it. But also understand just because you receive it and believe it doesn’t mean it is just a one time decision.. choosing confidence is a decision you will have to choose day after day. Now, you may be asking “How do I do that?” Here is my best advice for you. Read! God’s! Word! The Bible is full of truths about who you are and the confidence that the Holy Spirit gives us to walk freely in. When you believe these truths and the Spirit lives inside of you, you will gain the confidence you need to stand firm in who you are and the strength to walk it out daily.
Maybe right now, you feel unattractive, unworthy, unqualified, unappreciated.. whatever you may be feeling right now, something that I like to remind myself and others of is this: Your feelings are valid, but they are not always true. When we start to believe that the truth of who we are and what we are capable of is not based on our feelings and emotions or even found in the acceptance of others, we can truly start living out our actual truth: who God calls us to be. True confidence is God-confidence. It is created by Him and is sustained through Him. When we can stand strong and believe in who God created us to be, we can experience true confidence.
“Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.”
Your past struggles, traumas, heartbreaks, or disappointments may have affected your confidence. Or maybe you have gotten caught up in comparison and you feel the need to perform or be someone you’re not in order to be that person other people will accept or affirm. No matter what your situation is, today you can choose confidence. Paul tells us in Philippians 4:11-13 how we can have confidence whether we have nothing or we have everything. Whether we feel lack or abundance. He tells us it’s through Christ that we have confidence. Our confidence isn’t in our own abilities or strength, but in Gods.
For I have had many moments when I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning because of the insecurity or heartbreak I was facing. There have been many moments when the thinness of my hair or the acne on my face kept me isolated, not wanting to even be around people because I felt so insecure. There have been moments when the words of other people, traumas, and heartbreaks have caused my body to go into shock and I lost weight and my hormones created so many issues within my body. I have felt the stings of rejection, hurt, loss, betrayal, shame, and guilt- trust me- I have had many moments of giving into my feelings or letting other people or even my own mistakes determine the level of my confidence. I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be a confidence expert. But I share with you what has helped me keep a steady confidence no matter the highs and lows that life brings.
My Hope for each of you is that you will reach a place where you stop asking yourself “Who am I?” and you are able to confidently say “This is who I am.” It’s time we stop putting our worth and confidence in people and things of this world or even in our own abilities, and start putting it in the hands of our Creator. Loving the Creator also means loving His creation!! You are his creation. You are His MASTERPIECE. (Ephesians 2:10) Let’s truly believe that today and walk in God-confidence!
Challenges:
Date Yourself. Yes, you heard that right! Sounds odd but let me explain. Just as you would date someone, getting to know them and putting so much time and energy into making them feel known, safe, and loved- do the same for you! You should know you more than anyone else. You should know what gets you excited, what triggers passion, what frustrates you to the point of tears, and what terrifies you down to the bones. Ask yourself questions about what you like and don’t like. Take personality tests. Actually take time to study the ins and outs of yourself. When we know ourselves well, we won’t depend on others or media to tell us who we are.
Choose confidence. Confidence is not a feeling. It’s a daily decision. And if you just go about your day hoping it will come to you, I hate to break it to you, it’s not happening. If I only allowed my feelings to determine my level of confidence- If I am being honest, my confidence would be lacking almost every day, a rollercoaster of emotions, feeling some days worthy and strong and appreciated and beautiful and other days not so much. I would see everything wrong with myself. I would compare myself with everyone around me. I would hate myself when I fail or mess up. That’s why my confidence isn’t based on what I bring to the table or on my feelings or even my abilities, but in the One who created me. We just have to choose confidence and to allow the Spirit to develop it in us daily. You may not always feel it, but you can always choose it!
Kill comparison before it kills you. Comparison is your enemy. Do not listen to, entertain, or keep her around. Listen to me.. SHE IS NOT FOR YOU! She speaks the vicious lies that everyone else has it better, the grass is greener on the other side, and you can change as much as you want but you will NEVER measure up or be enough. Comparison is the biggest killer of confidence. I encourage you to silence the voices of comparison. Every time you feel a comparison thought approaching, do one of two things: choose to say out loud something you love about yourself or choose to do something for someone else (or both!). Anytime we can take our attention off ourselves and the negativity we tend to believe and turn it into gratitude for God and his creation or being generous and helping someone else- I promise you, your confidence will grow in that.
Prayer:
Lord, I pray that as we go through this day we can walk boldly in who we are created to be. I pray we have the revelation today that we are your masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made, and created in your image! Help us to see ourselves the way that you see us. Give us the strength to lay down the labels we have been carrying and to pick up your Word and believe and receive who you say that we are. Today we choose to place our confidence not in ourselves, but in you. Forgive us for all of the moments that we made it about ourselves. We declare today that our only goal is to bring glory to your name, live a life worthy of the calling you have given us, and praise You for the way you intentionally created us. In your Word, in the book of Philippians, we are reminded that no matter what season we are in or what we have been through, our strength and confidence come from you. Help us to live out the purpose you have for each of us and to walk in confidence knowing WHO we are and WHOSE we are. Amen