Suffering for God's Glory

About 5 months ago, I lost my younger brother in a car accident. I remember the day so vividly, although sometimes I wish I could forget it. It was the worst and hardest moment of my entire life. He lived in Wyoming at the time. I was in Florida with my mom, sisters and 2 of our best friends. My dad and older brothers were all together at home. I’ll never forget that call. I’ll never forget the feeling of not being able to breathe, of hoping it was all untrue, of crying out to God, “HOW COULD YOU!” I remember just crying in my mom’s lap for hours, not knowing what to do. It all felt so unreal, like a nightmare that I was going to wake up from at any moment. I remember a lot of feelings from that night, but the thing I remember feeling the most was the presence of God.

My little brother was my best friend. We are the two youngest of four siblings and he was my person. We told each other everything, we dreamed together, we played guitar together. We just understood each other like no one else did. He lit up any room that he walked into, and he loved Jesus with every ounce of his being. When I look back on his life, I truly am inspired. He was a dreamer, a fighter, an athlete, a creator. Everything about him was contagious, especially his smile. It was like Jesus was shining straight through him. That smile gave people hope and made you feel comfortable and safe around him. After his accident, we had a countless number of people tell us about the impact Cason had made on their lives. So many people have told us that they knew Cason loved 4 things: his family, football, being a cowboy, and God. I specifically remember a handful of stories about people meeting Cason for the first time and how one of the first things he would mention was his faith and how important it was to him. I remember being blown away. I knew he loved the Lord, but he also so desperately wanted other people to know and love the Lord too. It made me think about my life and my conversations. Is God and the gospel one of the first things I bring up in a conversation with people? Are people knowing Jesus better by knowing me?

Cason had Galatians 6:9 tattooed on his wrist which says, “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” He also loved 2 Timothy 4:7-8, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” You see, Cason lived for far more than himself and what this world could bring him. Cason was smart and successful, but that’s not what brought him true joy. His relationship with God did that. He lived for his Creator. He lived to help people know the name of Jesus. He stored up his treasures in Heaven. I challenge you and I to do the same.

I’ve experienced suffering before. I think it’s safe to say that we all have. Unfortunately, it’s a part of life in this fallen, sinful world. However, I’ve never experienced suffering to this extent before. Feeling angry at the Lord, confused, in denial, anxious, regretful of all the things that I never got to say to Cason. But you know what else I’ve experienced? The deepest level of God’s peace, comfort, and love like never before. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The last few months, I have experienced the deepest hurt and heartbreak. Yet at the same time, I have experienced the great depths of love, grace, and mercy from our Lord. I have felt immense sadness, yet rejoice knowing where Cason is now. I have felt unbelievable pain, yet comfort from the One who saved me. God has chosen to walk with me through this deep valley and never let me go. What an honor and joy it is to stand here and be able to say, “God, you are still good, and you are still faithful.”

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 says, “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore, encourage one another with these words.” That verse brings me so much hope and encouragement, and I hope it does you too, wherever you are in life. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one and are feeling hopeless. I get it, there are a lot of dark and hard moments through grief. It seems like a never-ending cycle of crazy thoughts and feeling like you’re making no progress. But, if you seek Jesus and his Word through the hurt, I promise you are making progress. On the other end, maybe you’ve never lost a loved one before and this specific story doesn’t really resonate with you. I want to encourage you, still. Maybe your suffering looks different. Maybe you feel in the dark and alone in a completely different way, unrelated to death. God sees you, too! He draws near to you, too!

I want to encourage you all with this: suffering happens in this life and it’s really, really hard. But you don’t have to go through it alone. God knows you, sees you, and hears you. He will never ever leave you where you’re at. Choose to glorify him through your suffering. Choose to seek him more and know him deeper. Depend on him and let him be your strength because we can’t and don’t have to do this alone. We get to use our suffering to bring glory to the name of Jesus and what he did for us. His suffering gives our suffering hope. Because we know that as followers of Jesus, through his work on the cross, we will one day get to spend eternity with him in a place where suffering doesn’t exist.

- Sydney Grant